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Xmas I: I Guess That This Must Be The Place

by Cotter Koopman

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1.
Intro 02:09
“I miss letting my guard down with my mom, letting loose and acting without any thought of how anyone might see me…I’m cold, and it’s windy, I’m hungry. Christmas is gonna be awesome this year! Maybe even go to the hardware store. I think that experiencing all this could be enough to start making me feel good about the rest of life.” [From “The Glow Pt. 2“ by The Microphones] I took my shirt off in the yard. No one saw: the skin on my shoulders was golden. Now it’s not: my shirt’s back on, I forgot my songs, the glow is gone. My gliding body stopped.
2.
I don’t care what your momma says: Christmastime is near. I don’t care what your daddy says: Christmastime is dear. All I know is that Santa’s sleigh is making its way to the USA. I don’t care what the mayor says: Christmas is full of cheer . I don’t care if you think it’s a lie: Christmas will soon be here. I don’t care about the CIA and I don’t care what the calendar say. (I wish it was Christmas today. I wish it was Christmas today.) I don’t care about anything except hearing those sleigh bells ring-a-ding-ding. (I wish it was Christmas today. I wish it was Christmas today.) I don’t care about the CIA and I don’t care what the calendar say. (I wish it was Christmas today.) I don’t care about anything except hearing those sleigh bells ring-a-ding-ding. * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * * * * * I wish it was Christmas today. * * *
3.
Christmastime again is here This happens every year Do the motions like we practiced I’ve come to see my baby actress Paper snowflakes on the door Like you’ve been here before When you run out in the snow Say “I love you” twice before you go My first role was, baby Jesus Had no lines but, didn’t cry much Now I’m older: I’ll be Joseph Beg the teacher, for my moment Had a crush on Mother Mary All we did was stare at the baby While the angels sang around us: “Hallelujah, God has found us. Hallelujah, God is with us. Hallelujah, God forgives us. Hallelujah, God surrounds us. Hallelujah, God has found us.” Christmastime again is here Where do you get your cheer? You won’t believe what Mary said: Santa Claus lives in your head She’s had a tree since Halloween We put ours up on Christmas Eve Ritual’s always the same Sit in quiet darkness in Jesus’ name
4.
Bring me December!
 It probably won't feel how you remember,
 when you were a child at the top of the stairs.
 Bring me the season, 
where everyone's cheerful for no valid reason
 except for the birth of the Savior of Man,
 so let's do all we can. 
Fa la la la la… As the cold shoulders in,
 we remember togetherness. 
I caught my grandfather's spell, with his sleigh bells, at my window!
 I ran to the child in the snow: for a moment he was right here! [Bring me…] As I stumble towards Christmas Eve,
 I see you clearly as my demands recede.
 This is a season of darkness and hope: hold me closer!
 I see through ads and our old rituals to what I hoped for! 
I hoped that you could... [Bring me…]
5.
Oh Santa, Where do you go all year? ‘Cause I could’ve used whatever you do when I was heartsick with fear. All summer, the heat sits heavy, alone. With the sun in my eyes, could’ve used some long nights and blankets thick with snow. And Jesus—I heard you’re coming to town… but I know you’re here every day of the year—just show me where you’re found…
6.
Said the night wind to the little lamb, “Do you see what I see? Way up in the sky, little lamb, do you see what I see? A star, a star, dancing in the night with a tail as big as a kite—with a tail as big as a kite.” Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, “Do you hear what I hear? Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy, do you hear what I hear? A song, a song, high above the trees with a voice as big as the sea—with a voice as big as the sea.” Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king, “Do you know what I know? In your palace warm, mighty king, do you know what I know? A child, a child shivers in the cold. Let us bring him silver and gold—let us bring him silver and gold.” Said the king to the people everywhere, “Listen to what I say: Pray for peace, people everywhere. Listen to what I say: The child, the child sleeping in the night—he will bring us goodness and light. He will bring us goodness and light.” Said the night wind to the little lamb,
7.
I know this feeling will fade. Every morning I feel silly for what yesterday praised. And I know it makes you dissolve, so let's not be measured, not be careful at all. 
But now that there's icicles as big as our wrists and the trees in my back woods look like nervous systems. And after dinner I lie down in the carpet  ‘cause it's five in the evening but it's already dark. And I hear you say, I can see right through you like sunshine in winter trees. And if it's okay, I will come and rest in you like sunshine in winter trees. I know it's hard to explain. Can't wait to see what will distract me today. I know it gets in your head. You think most clearly when you're drowning in dread.
 But now that we're dancing just to keep our own feet warm: I wanna tell you driving back in the snowstorm, and after dinner I might take a long shower  ‘cause it's 6 in the evening, getting darker each hour. And I hear you say, I can see right through you like sunshine in winter trees. And if it's okay, I will come and rest in you like sunshine in winter trees.
8.
Christmas won't save you— 
you can't wait yourself out.
 Hope you just need your break from things. 
You feel safer in the dark, 
but this will not save you.
 Find the light on a pastoral road—
 it stands as a testament.
 Things don't get better alone,
 without time and deliberation. Springtime won't save you— 
the smell nor the snowmelt sound.
 Try excited and warm again. 
Make sure you're getting around. 
But new friends won't save you, 
and the rain-mist on my face 
sees what's worth the dwelling on 
and what must be dismissed,
 through time and deliberation. * * *
9.
HOME HOME HOME is where I want to be— pick me up and turn me round. I feel numb, born with a weak heart. I guess I must be having fun. The less we say about it the better, make it up as we go along. Feet on the ground, head in the sky, it's okay—I know nothing's wrong, nothing. Hey-o! I got plenty of time! Hey-o! You got light in your eyes. And you're standing here beside me— I love the passing of time. Never for money, always for love— cover up and say goodnight, say goodnight. Home, is where I want to be, but I guess I'm already there. I come HOME, she lifted up her wings— I guess that this must be the place. I can't tell one from another. Did I find you or you find me? There was a time before we were born. If someone asks, this is where I'll be, where I'll— Hey-o! We drift in and out! Hey-o! Sing into my mouth! Out of all those kinds of people, you got a face with a view. I'm just an animal looking for a home and share the same space for a minute or two. And you love me till my heart stops! Love me till I'm dead. Eyes that light up, eyes look through you. Cover up the blank spots, hit me on the head, I got, ooo Home is where I want to be, but I guess I'm already there. I come home, you lifted up your wings— I guess that this must be the place.

credits

released December 15, 2017

cover lettering by Kendra Kamp

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Cotter Koopman Grand Rapids, Michigan

synthesizing, sampling, songwriting

(+ a dreamy Christmas compilation every Advent.)

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